Like Taking Candy From A Baby

.facebook_1509466658229It’s Halloween. Yay… Avery is one year old so she doesn’t really care. And I don’t care that she doesn’t care. The kid is dressing up. I’m going to parade her around in her adorable costume if only for the ego boost it gives me. Hey neighbors, don’t you wish your kid was this cute? Trick or treat, bitches. The last week and a half has been depression and panic attack Hell for this Mom. Find happiness where you can, right?

Along those lines, here are the top 5 reasons I will be eating my own child’s candy this year, probably right in front of her…

πŸŽƒ1. Look, I grew a kid and then birthed her only a year ago. No one is expecting me to be rocking a kick ass body.

πŸŽƒ2. Candy would rot her teeth and get her all addicted to the crack that is sugar. I’m doing this for her.

πŸŽƒ3. I just deserve it.

πŸŽƒ4. The husband is on a health kick. I’m very proud of him and can’t let him fall off the wagon. I am willing to sacrifice myself for true love.

πŸŽƒ5. This may be the only year I can take her candy away, from right under her nose, without having to fight her to the death for it.

Update on the stupid medical stuff: seeing my doctor this Thursday. And I am looking for an online, work from home, part time gig.




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