People

Sometimes I’m a homebody. I stay in my comfort zone in order to keep my anxiety level low and my sanity. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by social interactions with others. Sometimes I tell myself that I should step out of my box, get out of the house, call a friend, go to that party. And then there are times like now where I remember why I sometimes hate putting myself out there. It’s been a busy few days for me, lots of trips out and about, lots of visitors to the house. I was really trying to pull myself out of a rut. But in the past 3 days, 4 people in my life have commented on or questioned my parenting, and 1 person commented on my weight. I’m feeling crushed at the moment. My daughter is awesome. But she isn’t walking yet. She will be 18 months in 2 weeks and all the books, all the articles, all the research I’ve done tells me she should be walking. But she isn’t. She is bright, happy, and mobile. She just isn’t interested in walking. And I dont know why. I really dont. I am torn between panicking and going with the flow. She will do it, right? A few nights ago I had a dream that she was crawling around her kindergarten room and everyone was judging me hard. Maybe it really is my parenting. But it would be really cool if people didn’t feel the need to say it. Out loud. To me. Like all moms, I’m loving her to pieces every day and doing the best I can. And yep, I’ve gained weight. I’m at home all day now and snacking more and it shows. I wish I could tell you I’m 100% confident about my body, but let’s be real. I’m not. But you know what? I started jogging this week. Which is huge for me. Why would someone directly point out my flaws to me? I know I’m flawed. I’m working on learning to be okay with that. This all makes me want to shut out the world. But I won’t. I won’t let judgemental, negative folks win! And if you’re also letting others make you question your self worth, I hope this post finds you and reminds you that you aren’t alone in the mom struggle! Keep positive people close. And love yourself!

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3 thoughts on “People”

      1. I know. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we wanted. Some things we can’t control. I’d say she’s just not ready. Same as my boy. I like to think he’s got nothing to say at the moment. At least nothing interesting.

        Liked by 1 person

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