Rainbow Baby

You weren’t my first pregnancy. You came in the wake of heartbreak and disappointment. You came exactly when I needed you to. You came at a time when I had given up hope and was convinced that my body would never allow me to have the one thing I dreamed of the most. A life inside me. I let go of the baby before you, reluctantly, angrily, and without any control over the situation. I was crushed beyond words, but your daddy was maybe more crushed. He couldn’t do anything to fix it and for him, that’s one of the worst feelings in the world. When we learned you were on the way, we told ourselves not to get too excited … just incase. Just incase you weren’t meant to be. Just incase you didnt make it to the world. Just incase more heartbreak was in store. But here you are. Our rainbow baby. I’ll never be able to fully put into words the feelings I experienced the first time I saw you, held you, heard you cry. So let me just say this. You fought. You dont know it now, but trust me, you fought all the odds to get here. And my body fought. And here you are, watching Mickey Mouse and snuggling the very same, now much bigger and stretch marked, belly that worked so hard to get you here. I’m so grateful. Just so, so grateful for all of it. You were more than worth the heartache.

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