My Freaking Moment

Tonight, the mom and wife thing is kicking my ass. I am moody and on edge. I feel as though our 20 month old daughter runs the house. As I clean one thing, she is getting into another. When I took a moment to try to eat dinner, she colored on our couch with an ink pen. I yelled at my husband because I thought he was watching her. I yelled in front of her. Damn it. We said we would never do that. We had just had yet another talk about our budget and finances, so I guess it just sent me over the edge.

All day I am cleaning up spills, changing diapers, washing dishes, washing laundry, sweeping floors, wiping noses, brushing hair, making meals, etc. All you moms out there … do you ever wonder when your moment will be? Your moment to get lost in a great TV show or a good book? Your moment to take an actual shower, not just the 2 minute “half shower” that we have all learned to rush through. When is your moment to eat a meal without tiny hands in your plate? When do you get to sit on the couch, comfortably, and not be used as a jungle gym? When is your moment to NOT sacrifice? And have something exactly the way you want it?

If I were to say this out loud to someone in real life, I’d get a pat on the back, a chuckle, and a “maybe in eighteen years” joke. But I ain’t joking. I’m dead serious. When is my freaking moment? Before you read this and think I am playing the victim or bashing my husband, I am not. He is amazing and I am so lucky to have married a friend and a true partner. We chose to have a child, and now she is the best thing that has ever happened to us. She has given my life new meaning and lights up every room. She is hillarious. She is awesome.

But for real … when is my moment? Even when I lie down at night, I am going over lists of things that need to be done the next day for my family. I want to sit and drink a cup of coffee without spilling it because someone was grabbing for it. I want to watch a sappy movie, like all the way through, without being interrupted to the point that I can’t remember what’s happening in the plot.

I hope you can all relate. My life is fulfilling and full of laughter and love, yet overwhelming and one tiny sacrifice after another at the same time. I’m not whining, really I’m not. But dang, this being here for everyone all the time is tough! Mommas everywhere, you are important and vital to your family and the world.

I am writing this in the bathroom. I’m leaning up against the vanity. It’s the only place I know I won’t be bothered.

Hey, I guess I got my moment after all.


One comment

  1. Oh sweetie. There are no more moments. What I can tell you is in every stage of your life from the moment she was born until you die you will find creative ways to get a breath. Each age for me has been demanding in very different ways. We are currently in the sports phase. I have gotten so used to having to be going 100% of the time that when I think of them becoming the independent people I have been teaching them to be I panic at the thought they might not need me much longer. Then what?! Every part of this parent life is super scary and hectic and so wonderful! Keep being creative with trying to find a moment or just let me keep her for a few hours so you can. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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